some jokes to share with you guys. enjoy (:
Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck."
So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe."
So the third hunter says, "I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see."
So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!" An owner offered one hundred dollars to anyone who could make his horse laugh. Only one man was up for the challenge and he took the horse into a room and when he brought the horse out it was laughing so hard it pissed on the floor.
The owner said he'd give another hundred dollars if the man could make the horse cry. The man took the horse into the same room and when he brought it out, the horse was crying a river.
"How did you do it?" asked the owner.
"Well," the man replied, "to make him laugh I told him my dick was bigger than his, and to make him cry I showed him." A blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around. Upset by this, the manager of the store demanded to know what he was doing. The blind man calmly replied, "I'm just lookin' around." Three mice are sitting in a bar. The first one exclaims, "I am one bad-ass mouse! In my hood, we have huge mousetraps. I take the damn cheese out of the traps and move the bar up and down while I eat."
The second one chimes in with, "Oh yeah. Well, I'm a bad-ass mouse too. In fact, I'm such a bad-ass mouse, that in my hood, I mix rat poison with my milk and chug it down every night before I go to bed."
The third gets up and starts to leave. The other two mice both yell out, "Hey chicken, where do you think you're going?"
The third one replies, "Going home to fuck the cat." Yo Mama JokesYo' mama so nasty, she went to the barber shop, unbuttoned her shirt, and said cut my hair! Yo mama's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country!
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